Have you ever been promised something from someone you regarded as a friend, and they disappointed you?  "I will be there for you", "we'll be together for a long, long time," or "I'm here to stay" -the next thing you know you're walking around with six-inch diggers thrust deep into your back?

A proper understanding of whom you call "friend" will uncomplicate your world and get you much, much further in life.



This question, very few people step back and ponder. In fact, some people will stop reading this article, right about now. But before you shut the door on me like smoke, consider these important five important pointers:

  1. Your friends influence your mindset,
  2. Your friends affect your decision,
  3. Your friends affect your action,
  4. Your friends affect your destiny.


Friendships can raise you or ruin you. Hurt you or help you. Destroy you or defend you.

The question remains – who is a true friend?


May I suggest five important traits of a true friend:


1. A true friend is an elevator


He is the one who improves your life.

He brings out the best in you. He motivates you to pursue the straight and the narrow path. He is not a person who will persuade you to commit a crime. He will not put drugs in your hand or entice you to do something immoral -this is not a true friend! A true friend will encourage to serve God and to live right.


2. A true friend is an expander


He is one who will challenge you beyond mediocrity into the life of excellence.

He will push you, he will stretch your potential. The one who has a problem with your mediocrity and encourages you to fight it!  A true friend loves you the way you are but he loves you too much to leave you the way you are.


3. A true friend is lighter


He is one who will tell you the truth even if it means risking your friendship.

The truth is more important to him than offending you. A fake friend will withhold truth to watch you sink  -make a mistake or mess up. A genuine friend is not interested in pleasing you as much as he is in protecting you. You cannot reach your destiny with people who want to be in your "good books".

A true friend will say to you, " you cannot sleep with a woman you not married with," "you cannot buy a car that cost you more than your house". This is a genuine friend.


4. A true friend is a celebrater


A true friend is not uncomfortable with your success.

Your progress does not agitate him. A true friend celebrates your success in your absence. A fake friend sees you increase and feels intimidated, jealous and envious.

You will never increase or grow with such friends. Such people can not improve your life. Notice also the reaction of your "friends" not only during the hard times but during the good times. A true freind can handle your success.


5. A true friend is a lover


A true friend loves you for who you are not for what you have.
Wealthy people struggle most, knowing who truly loves them. The richer one becomes, the harder it is to tell who is genuine. In prosperity, your friends know you, in adversity, you know who your friends are. When you are the president of a country, you will get many Christmas card. The moment your term ends you will only get Christmas cards from true friends. Celebrities have many friends following them on social media but the moment they lose all their money and glamorous social status, they also lose all their fake friends.

It is a dangerous place when some relate to you because of something they want from you.



6. A true friend is a complimenter


A genuine friend is a person whose character, values and visions are similar to yours.

You are not an immoral womanizer, he is not an immoral womanizer. You are not a stealer, he is not a stealer. If you sit down with someone who is an immoral womanizer, or a stealer you soon will become one. If you continue with him, you will destroy your destiny.


Remember, friendships can raise you or ruin you. Hurt you or help you. Destroy you or defend you.

It takes, iron to sharpen iron as the proverbs say. When iron sharpens wood, both lose -the wood reduces in size, and the iron becomes blunt. The wood shrinks in size and the iron lose its' sharpness because the two are incompatible.

When you move with people who do not have your character, values, and vision, you will lose something.