Mark 11:25,26 (Amplified) – And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and let it drop (leave it, let go), in order that your Father Who is in heaven may also forgive you your [own] failings and shortcomings and let them drop. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your failings and shortcomings.

Jesus prayed the Prayer of Forgiveness. Do you remember what some of His last words were when He was on the cross? “Father, forgive them.” He was saying, “I forgive them and, Father, I ask you to forgive them and not to put this on their charge.” He was crying out that they would be released; that God would forgive them.

There is a side to the Prayer of Forgiveness that is a form of intercession; a side where we stand in the gap, that God would not remember the sin of the person who has sinned against us. That’s how much love there is in this prayer. It doesn’t have anything to do with our feelings, good or bad.

Remember, it’s a choice we make. We choose to pray the Prayer of Forgiveness, and when we believe when we pray, it works. God hears and answers this kind of prayer. He loves it!

5 Steps to the Prayer of Forgiveness

  1. You must forgive the person who has wronged you
  2. Ask God to forgive them
  3. Ask God to forgive you
  4. Release the emotion of the situation and the relationship to the Lord. Pray about the hurt and rejection and release it in the presence of the Lord. Choose to let the rejection, feelings, and hurt go when you pray.
  5. Forget it! Right there in your prayer, just forget it.

Again, this is something you have to choose to do. Many people want to remember it, think about it, talk about it, and remember it some more. No! Forget it! If you’ll do that in your prayer, the Holy Spirit will help you. This doesn’t mean the relationship is automatically going to change; you have to understand that.

There may still be things that have to be dealt with, but what you’re dealing with in this prayer is your heart and keeping it clean and pure. When the Holy Spirit leads you to pray this way, do it! There’s power in this kind of prayer. Unforgiveness is a sin. Just ask God to forgive you.

Pray, “Father, first of all, I thank you that you showed me that this attitude was in my heart. I thank You, Father, that you love me and you showed me this. Father, I ask You to forgive So-and-so for what he did and said and for how he acted, and for all the others who have been involved in this situation.

I ask in faith, out of the love of my heart, and with all the sincerity of my heart. I ask You, Father, to forgive them and, Father, I forgive them. I forgive all those words they said that hurt me. I forgive them, I ask you to forgive them, and together we let that go from their case.

And Father, I ask you to forgive me. I came into this and I thought negatively about it. I have been angry about it, and I have spoken angry words. I’ve harboured bitterness in my heart toward this, and I don’t want it to go any farther. I don’t want a root of bitterness to be in me. Father, I ask you to forgive me. I know that I’ve said things in a wrong spirit and a wrong attitude about this person and about these people and, Father, I ask you to forgive me. I call it sin. I have sinned against you and against them. I confess it, and I thank You that when I confess my sin, you are faithful and just to forgive me and to restore me. I thank You, Father, for the purity and the cleansing of the Holy Spirit over my heart and mind and this relationship.”

Choose to let the rejection, feelings, and hurt go when you pray.

Pray, “Father, I also ask you and I thank you that you have healed me right now of those words and the hurt. I don’t want to come to you with self-pity, pride, or hardness toward you or anyone.

Father, I ask you to touch my heart. As an act of my will, I choose not to be hurt. I release the hurt, the rejection, and the emotion in this relationship. Father, I bless those who curse me. Thank you, Father, for your power in my heart and mind that takes away hurt, rejection, and bad feelings. I receive your power now. I have it now, and I thank you for it in Jesus’ Name. The feelings, the hurt, the emotion is touched right now by the Holy Spirit. I thank you for it. I receive it in Jesus’ Name. I refuse to accept hurt, anger, isolation, frustration, or rejection.

Thank you, Father, for the freedom and the flow of the Holy Spirit touching my heart and mind right now. I take it by faith, and I’m healed in my heart, my mind, and my soul. I look to you, Holy Spirit, as my Comforter.”

Forgiving does involve forgetting. Pray in the Spirit if you want to, and then say,

“Father, now that I’ve prayed about this, I leave it here in your presence. I choose not to remember Holy Spirit, help me not to remember this. I leave it in your presence. It is finished. It is done. I forget it because of the blood; because of love, in Jesus’ Name.

Holy Spirit, help me to walk this out. Help me, Father, because I still have to deal with these people; but now I can deal in purity and love, and I don’t have to deal out of hurt, bitterness, unforgiveness, or hardness. I can walk in your wisdom, purity, and love and walk through this relationship victoriously, with your power.

I thank you, Father, for your help in this relationship. In Jesus’ Name, I will keep my heart right. Thank you, Father, that now I can walk in forgiveness. Let forgiveness flow from my life. I thank you for it.

Satan, I rebuke you and your hold on my life. You can’t bind me in this situation, in Jesus’ Name. I break the power of all rejection and every evil force released against me, in Jesus’ Name. Thank you, Father, for victory. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”

Footnote: Taken from pages 185-189 of Effective Fervent Prayer, © 1991 by Mary Alice Isleib; ISBN 0-9629986-0-5

Thoughts of resentment, anger, and hatred represent slow, debilitating energies that will dis-empower you if you continue to let these negative thoughts occupy space in your head, eventually will cause you significant harm.

If you could release your offender, you would know peace; happiness stability and become a far more respected leader.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

— Mark Twain

As a Christian, seeking and granting forgiveness is first and foremost about and obedience issue to God. You may not share the same spiritual conviction as I do, and that is respected. However, as a leader forgiveness is essential.

Forgiveness serves as the foundation upon which relational and emotional brokenness may be healed. Humility in large a large dosage needs administering for the power of forgiveness to have its restorative effect on us.

“Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgiven him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him. The apostles said to the Lord, ‘Increase our faith’” (Luke 17:3-4).

As we consider and pursue resolving conflict, it’s helpful to clarify what biblical forgiveness is and is not.

Some Common Myths Above Forgiveness:


Myth 1: I’ll Forgive When I’m Ready

Waiting to forgive until you have worked through your negative emotions against the offender is unscriptural. There are two models of forgiveness; the Spiritual Model and the Psychological Model.

Psychology styled forgiveness is feelings-based in that they purport the idea that a person may grant genuine forgiveness only upon working through negative feelings experienced by the offence.
These theories tend to contradict the teaching of Jesus in the above passage since it would be unlikely for you to effectively “work through” your negative emotions if someone committed the same sin against you seven times in the same day.
Providing the offender seeks forgiveness, Jesus commands us to forgive immediately.


Myth 2: I Forgive You But I’m Angry

Forgiving while still angry or upset is hypocritical.
It is also Hypocrisy, from a Christian point of view, is to say one is a Christ-follower, but refuse or reject to abide by his teachings.
Therefore, hypocrisy, in the context of forgiveness, would be refusing to forgive when a person seeks forgiveness since it counters Jesus’ instruction in Luke 17. To grant forgiveness while still hurting is not hypocrisy, it is obedience.


Myth 3: Forgiveness is essential for my health

While it is true, harbouring bitterness and resentment will certainly have a damaging impact on our spiritual and emotional lives, but forgiveness is not a therapeutic intervention designed for psychological health.

The primary aim of forgiveness is obedience to God. Making the motive of your forgiveness first about loving God, then about loving your neighbour is the key to spiritual and emotional maturity.

Myth 4: If I forgive, I must forget

Nowhere in Scripture does it infer that once we forgive, we must forget. Truthfully you will never forget.
When God promises us, “I will remember their sins no more” these beautiful promises are fulfilled not because God’s memory is erased, but because He willfully chooses not to hold our sins against us.

God is omniscient, and he has not forgotten our sins as we might forget where we placed our keys.

Some offences are quite painful, even traumatic. To ask someone to completely forget the incident or the pain related to it would not be a compassionate approach. The key is not either to erase one’s memory of the past, but to learn how to honour God when memories seek to infringe upon one’s present awareness.


Myth 5: If I Forgive I May Not Talk to Them About It

Talking about it to the offender and attacking the offender are not the same thing. Sometimes the restoration process may present an opportunity to discussing the ongoing pain caused by the offence with the offender. For example, if a wife is struggling with deep sorrow and an overwhelming sense of betrayal as a result of her husband’s confessed adultery, it will be important for her to share these trials with him so that he may humble himself in seeking to restore the relationship.

The purpose of such conversation is not to resurrect past sins or accusation, but to provide the offender with the opportunity to love and care for the person hurting.


Myth 6: If I Forgive, It Lessens What Was Done To Me

Forgiveness does not lessen the gravity of any sin. Forgiveness is granting to your offender something they may not necessarily deserve while refusing to take matters of punishment into your own hands. While trusting God to avenge them in His way and in His time.
It is choosing mercy over justice and imitates the heart of God towards his people, especially those whom you care about.



Defining What Forgiveness Is:


Forgiveness is not an emotion, but a covenant promise to forgive the debt of your offender.

Ideally, it should not be granted at the end of the healing process, but at the beginning.

It is the foundation upon which relational and emotional healing may take place.

Forgiveness is to promise that you will not hold the sin against your offender.

It is to willfully “remember the sin of your offender no more.”

Forgiveness is to promise that you will not ruminate over your offender’s sin while alone.

After you make this covenant promise to your offender, it serves as a powerful reminder with which to engage the mental battle when the temptation to ruminate arises.

Forgiveness is to promise that you will not gossip about your offender’s sin with others.

Granting forgiveness is not ultimately contingent upon our interpretation of the offender’s genuineness in repentance.

The Christian ethic seeks to operate in love towards all people, including one’s offender(s).