Emotional adultery, you thinking, “Wow! That sounds hectic,” and you’re right!

When one partner behaves in a way that creates emotional intimacy with someone besides the other partner; this is emotional adultery or emotional cheating. It means a “friendship” in the office or country club has gone too far.
What are the signs that a person is emotionally cheating on their spouse?

You talk about the work-related events, your interests, share a joke or a cigarette, which is understandable but pretty soon you’re discussing the passions of your heart and confiding in each other about the problems in your marriages. You have crossed some serious boundaries.

What began as an innocent friendship with someone of the opposite sex has quickly become an emotional affair. Many physical affairs mushroomed from similar scenarios.

Of course, not everyone who has a friend from the opposite sex stumbles into an affair. But it can be easier than you think to cross the line in those kinds of friendships.

That’s why you need appropriate boundaries with opposite-sex friends, and you need to guard your heart – and the heart of your marriage.


The following are three things you can count on:

1. Your marriage and children are worth guarding with your life.

2. You are Living in a culture that’s hostile to fidelity in marriage; your heart will come under attack.

3.You cannot survive these attacks on your own.


You and your spouse must stand together against the common foe. You must guard your heart and guard each others’ hearts. You need hold company only with those who share your desire for a divorce-proof marriage.

So how can one tell if you are in danger of an emotional affair?  An awareness of the signs of emotional cheating is a major step in stopping it.

Below Are Four Ways You Can Know:

Intimate Communication


Sharing personal, intimate details about your marriage constitutes emotional cheating. For instance, sharing details around an argument you had or saying things like “he does not understand me the way you do” is crossing the line. If your desire is to share exciting news or talk about an upsetting situation with your “friend” rather than your partner,  you are heading into dangerous territory.

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.

(Proverbs 5:18)

Obsessive Thoughts


Constantly thinking about your “friend” is another clear warning sign that you may be having an emotional affair. For example, if you daydream about the next time you will see them, wonder what they are doing and replay your last conversation over and over in your mind is a clear indication your friendship has crossed the line into emotional infidelity.

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
(Proverbs 4:23.)

Sexual Thoughts


If you fantasize about a romantic or sexual relationship with a specific person other than your partner – this is emotional infidelity. Even if you keep such fantasies in the privacy of your mind, you may never even commit the physical act… it is still emotional infidelity!

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

(Matthew 5:28.)

Operating Secretively


Another sign of emotional cheating is keeping the other person’s friendship completely secret from your spouse.
Avoid spending time alone. In a work situation such as a business trip–something that can’t be avoided, let them know your spouse is aware of your meetings and activities during your time together.

Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

(Hebrews 13:14.)


Remember you can say no to the threats to your marriage by guarding your heart and standing strong for your marriage and children. 

In recent decades, researchers, scientists, educators have proven that Emotional Intelligence (EQ or EI) has proven to be more important than  IQ (Intelligence Quotient.)

What’s the Difference

Emotional intelligence is a way of recognizing, understanding, and choosing how we think, feel, and act. It shapes our interactions with others and our understanding of ourselves. It defines how and what we learn; it allows us to set priorities; it determines the majority of our daily actions. Research suggests it is responsible for as much as 80 percent of the “success” in our lives. -J. Freedman

IQ stands for Intelligence Quotient.

It represents how academically intelligent a person is. Most people understand this.

EQ stands for Emotional Intelligence.

It relates to a person’s ability to perceive, control, evaluate and express emotions. Most people don’t understand the value of this discipline.  


Aristotle said, “Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.” While those who rate well on IQ are considered as “educated,” and generally make more money, are healthier and perform better academically. Those with high EQ scores may not have a great deal of technical or academic knowledge but have been shown to perform better at their jobs than those with high IQ scores.

I do believe an individual’s performance in life is determined by both their IQ and EQ. However, research has proven that IQ only accounts for a small percentage of that success.  In fact only about 10 to 25-percent of the equation, which leaves EQ responsible for an incredible 75-percent or more of a person’s ability to succeed. IQ will get you through school, EQ will get you through life.

The idea though is not to run ahead with your heart while forsaking your head.  “Emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not triumph of heart over head -it is the unique intersection of both” (David Caruso.)


There is a general rule when recruiting for a junior level which states: “Hire for personality; train for skill.”

It means that you can train someone in the technical skills or advance knowledge, they need to perform a job, but you can’t train a person’s personality. Any endeavour to achieve this required tremendous effort.
In practical terms:

  • A person with a higher EQ is better at working in teams.
  • They can relate to others and are more approachable.
  • Those with high EQ scores perform better in the workplace, make better leaders, are more self-confident, trustworthy, more likeable than those with low scores.
  • All of these factors lead to an increase in productivity and sales across the board!


The Five Areas of EQ

There are five areas of EQ, and once you understand them, you will begin to realise why being in a mature state of emotional intelligence makes a huge difference. Mainly in how well someone performs in both life and at work.

1. Self Awareness

You can not control your emotions if you are not aware of them. This is where self-awareness plays a significant role.

Self-awareness is an essential leadership quality. It helps you get better because you know how well you currently are doing or feeling emotionally. Self-awareness regulates your decision-making process. It helps you make the right decisions because you also are aware of your blind spots. It makes you progressive at work because you remember past mistakes and addresses them. Being self-aware is being self-knowledgeable.

However, you just cannot become an effective leader without being self-aware.

2. Self-Managment

If you’re not in control of your emotions, your environment will be. Self-managment or regulation places you in the front seat of your emotional life. If you are not controlling your emotion, you become argumentative or resistant to change.
Those who can control their emotions, avoid the temptation to indulge their impulses. Instead they take responsibility for their own feelings, moods, actions, adapt well in the face of change, and are open to new ideas.

Self-regulation is a pretty underrated skill. We have a tendency to glorify the so-called archetypal leader who blows his top, forces his point.

While we perceive those people who have great control over their emotions as cold, dispassionate or lacking in passion.


3. Motivation

The unmotivated are the underachievers. They are the ones who rarely meet goals.

Motivated people are constantly striving to improve, to meet the next due date or milestone. They are also less likely to get discouraged when faced with setbacks or opposition.

“Motivational leadership refers to someone leading others by motivating them to strive for certain goals rather than simply act on orders.

The leader tries to create a safe and trusting environment, and ensure the organisation is positioned for success in its domain.”


4. Empathy

Empathy is the ability to recognise how people feel and how your actions can affect them. Putting profits before people was one reason for the economic meltdown in 2008. Many people think leadership is about rank, power and privilege.

True leadership is the willingness to place others’ needs above your own.

5. Social Skills

Social skills are important regardless of what type of career you have. Even a computer gig needs social skills.

Successful people communicate effectively. Great communicators are needed for conflict management, team management, leadership roles, and tasks where cooperation is necessary.

Social leaders have followers because of their ability to bring people together, facilitate agreements and drive efforts in the same direction.

Nelson Mandela can be seen as the prototype of a social leader.
These Five Levels Can Affect Your Personal Life as well.

These are the several areas where your EQ determines how successful you’ll become in the workplace.

In a world where most knowledge is only a Google search away, emotional intelligence has taken on greater significance, and we’re likely to continue to see employers looking for these skills rather than technical knowledge.


Which truly makes emotional intelligence more important than IQ in today’s world.