Are you a victim of domestic violence? Do you feel pained and shamed and wonder why he is the way he is?

Men have more testosterone than women, for this reason, men tend to be more competitive and more aggressive than women.

Domestic violence is a crime, but there is another form of abuse that’s worse than physical abuse and that is emotional abuse.

You might think it could never happen to you, but emotional abuse happens even in the best of Christian homes. Verbal abuse is part of far too many relationships, with 98% of victims being female.

There is a Scripture that speaks strongly against verbal abuse:

Proverbs 22:24 says, “Do not associate with a man given to anger, or go with a hot-tempered man.”

What are the signs that you could be marrying or are married to an abusive man? I have compiled a list of 11 complexes of an abusive man.




1. The Controlling Complex


A controlling man is the greatest sign of an abusive man. An abusive man is prone to criticise, verbally abuse, control finances and isolate a woman from family, friends, Church…

2. The Entitlement Complex


Entitlement is the belief that ‘one has special rights without responsibility.’ This is why a man can make a baby with woman and never feel the need to care for them. He believes he is entitled to use and abuse a woman.


3. The Conceit Complex


An arrogant or selfish man thinks he is the centre of the universe, and the family rotates around him and his needs.


4. The Superiority Complex


A man who has a superiority complex thinks women are stupid, unworthy, sex objects or house servants.


5. The Possessive Complex


A possessive man sees his wife and his children as his ‘property’, meaning they don’t have a mind of their own. They should ‘feel’ and ‘do’ as he says!


6. The Confusing Love & Abuse Complex


When a man justifies violence for love: “I use violence to show them that I care.”


7. The Manipulative Complex


A man who has a manipulative spirit uses confusion, lies and distortion to project himself as good, and portrays his wife as evil and crazy. This is a Manipulator!


8. The Contradictory Statements & Behaviours Complex


A man who says one thing and does another… Nothing erodes trust and damages a marriage relationship more than this.


9. The Blame Shifter Complex


Another trait of a controlling man is when he shifts the blame:
“We are where we are because of you,” “you job,” “you attitude,” “your mother,” “your Children” or “Your Church.”

10. The Minimisation Complex


An abusive man would hit and bruise his wife, and instead of taking responsibility, he would minimise it by saying, “she made me do it!” “She drove me to do it.” Nothing justifies physical violence.

11. The Serial Abuser Complex


The man who is abusive to his wife, his children and every other relationship he is in.


If you are in an abusive relationship, you need to seek professional help.