Emotional adultery, you thinking, “Wow! That sounds hectic,” and you’re right!

When one partner behaves in a way that creates emotional intimacy with someone besides the other partner; this is emotional adultery or emotional cheating. It means a “friendship” in the office or country club has gone too far.
What are the signs that a person is emotionally cheating on their spouse?

You talk about the work-related events, your interests, share a joke or a cigarette, which is understandable but pretty soon you’re discussing the passions of your heart and confiding in each other about the problems in your marriages. You have crossed some serious boundaries.

What began as an innocent friendship with someone of the opposite sex has quickly become an emotional affair. Many physical affairs mushroomed from similar scenarios.

Of course, not everyone who has a friend from the opposite sex stumbles into an affair. But it can be easier than you think to cross the line in those kinds of friendships.

That’s why you need appropriate boundaries with opposite-sex friends, and you need to guard your heart – and the heart of your marriage.


The following are three things you can count on:

1. Your marriage and children are worth guarding with your life.

2. You are Living in a culture that’s hostile to fidelity in marriage; your heart will come under attack.

3.You cannot survive these attacks on your own.


You and your spouse must stand together against the common foe. You must guard your heart and guard each others’ hearts. You need hold company only with those who share your desire for a divorce-proof marriage.

So how can one tell if you are in danger of an emotional affair?  An awareness of the signs of emotional cheating is a major step in stopping it.

Below Are Four Ways You Can Know:

Intimate Communication


Sharing personal, intimate details about your marriage constitutes emotional cheating. For instance, sharing details around an argument you had or saying things like “he does not understand me the way you do” is crossing the line. If your desire is to share exciting news or talk about an upsetting situation with your “friend” rather than your partner,  you are heading into dangerous territory.

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.

(Proverbs 5:18)

Obsessive Thoughts


Constantly thinking about your “friend” is another clear warning sign that you may be having an emotional affair. For example, if you daydream about the next time you will see them, wonder what they are doing and replay your last conversation over and over in your mind is a clear indication your friendship has crossed the line into emotional infidelity.

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
(Proverbs 4:23.)

Sexual Thoughts


If you fantasize about a romantic or sexual relationship with a specific person other than your partner – this is emotional infidelity. Even if you keep such fantasies in the privacy of your mind, you may never even commit the physical act… it is still emotional infidelity!

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

(Matthew 5:28.)

Operating Secretively


Another sign of emotional cheating is keeping the other person’s friendship completely secret from your spouse.
Avoid spending time alone. In a work situation such as a business trip–something that can’t be avoided, let them know your spouse is aware of your meetings and activities during your time together.

Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

(Hebrews 13:14.)


Remember you can say no to the threats to your marriage by guarding your heart and standing strong for your marriage and children. 

Leadership is the most critical component of building a thriving business. However, there is a difference between an average leader and effective Leader.

I’ve been away on holiday recently near the Indian Ocean, north of Durban, South Africa. Known as “Umhlanga” the area is famous for its warm coastline and bronze sandy beach, making it a fantastic family getaway.


… …during my time away, (much needed) again it hit me, just an environment can influence a person outlook.


I’m not really an early morning jogger. I’m not a jogger at all…  but somehow the fresh ocean air, the athletic locals, roused me out of my comfortable five hotel bed and there I found myself jogging almost each morning.

Amazing feeling!


Something else most locals do in Umhlanga, ritualistically.  It’s a must stopover. The small Kiosks, positioned along the neatly paved side path, decorated by the most vividly coloured tropical vegetation, right there is the famous “Jacksonville Coffee Shop!” Now you talking. Coffee my thing!

Standing, and waiting in line for my ‘medium sized, Americano, no milk, no sugar!’ There’s no other way for the connoisseur.

I wondered, “how many coffees do these guys sell per day?” Business is booming.

Smooth and easy as they flow,  I pitched a question, “so tell me…?” “Yes sir!” the barista replied,  “just how many coffees do you sell a day?” As he rolled his eyeballs up, he replied, “…mmm, about a… 1000 to a 1500 cups a day… I guess.”

I made a quick calculation… “If they sell a thousand cups of coffee a day, that’s  8000 plus coffees per week, that’s about four hundred thousand cups a year,  Wow!”  No wonder these guys are so smooth at what they do!

And my point,

… ..after going at the same thing, all the time, it’s clear you get to know a thing or two the average person does not know…. about being a coffee barista.


The same principle is true about anything in life;


Including leadership!


I’ve been studying the subject of leadership since 2008. Leadership is a passion. After examining the lives of some of the world’s greatest leaders, I’ve observed something that has helped me in my personal leadership.  All effective leaders have three characteristics in common, I call the Trinity of Effective Leadership. Regardless of where they  lead, all successful leaders understand and operate with thefollowingg three principles:


The Trinity Of Effective Leadership:


#1. Great Leaders Demand Results


This sounds harsh, but it is true. All effective leaders demand undeniable results that can be counted, measured and felt by the people they lead. Even their competitors glean from their wisdom and come to respect them (even if it is secretive.)

In the end, it is not about effort. Efficiency and effort are not the same things.  Effort no doubt is good and very much needed, but what counts is what is accomplished.

Leaders  are responsible for delivering results, period!

Over the years I’ve come to know the voice of the  average, it sounds like this, “we are doing our best,”  “we are trying.” Sounds sincere… But effective leaders, understand there’s a difference between activity and productivity, activity and productivity.  Great leaders spend their energy on the most effective activities to achieve the greatest outcomes.

Remember, action orientation is good, but being orientated on the right actions is better. Don’t just be busy; be a busy leader who gets results! It’s called productivity.



#2. Great Leaders Don’t Just Grow In Results, They Grow People


Wow! This is what I love the most about being a leader. Great leaders don’t just hit the numbers, they lift the people, the teams and organisations.

Someone once said, “If you want to go fast, go alone if you want to go further, go together.”

If you want to do big things, it requires effectively getting work done through others. If you maintain a mindset of, “If you want it done, you must do it yourself.” Stop! You need to become better at delegating and learn how to accomplish things through others.

This requires developing the people around you. Create an environment where people don’t get discouraged or burnt out, but equip people to become what they never thought they could become and achieve what they never thought they could achieve!



#3. Great Leaders Don’t Just Grow People, They Grow Themselves


This is the secret of legendary leadership. Personal development.

For an organisation to reach its full potential, the leaders must grow first. Developing and growing people is a leader’s highest calling.

However, a leader cannot take people where he has never been before. Self-discipline cannot be easily taught to other leaders it must be demonstrated by you.

One of life’s greatest tragedies is seeing a great vision or talent fail because a leader has not improved themselves.


Consider which of these three values you might need working on?

Remember, “smart leaders learn from their own mistakes. Smarter ones learn from others’ mistakes—and successes.”